Fanning The Flames of Disapproval

Repeat.....

2012-01-27T15:59:00.000-08:00

This song will not quit playing!!!!

Scars: By Papa Roach

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And my scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help you fix yourself
You're making me insane
All I can say is

[Chorus:]
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last stand

[Chorus]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever come around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

Being Chosen

2011-10-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Pick me! Pick Me!

I have been chosen!

I am destined to be with you!

I will be here for you!

I'm still here. Waiting.

Hi! How was your day?

I'm still here for you.

Waiting for you.

Are we going to do something together?

You're ripping me open, tearing me apart!

What's wrong with you?

I just want to love you!

I feel hollow.

Is this what you needed to be happy?

I've given everything for you.

I'm empty because of you.

I will wear a fake smile.

I will light your path.

I thought I'd always be with you.

I didn't think about sharing you.

I'm starting to sink inward.

I'm melting down deeper and deeper.

I knew I'd always love you.

I didn't know everything would be about you.

"We Partied Like We Were Never Going To Get To Again"

2011-07-25T00:18:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was seriously the first time Joe and I have spent the night away from our children in 4 and 1/2 years!!!! I was pretty excited about it!
We rented a houseboat with Sam and Ashley and all their friends and bridal party, for their bachelor/bachelorette weekend! We found a nice little cove to anchor to and got set to have a good time!

The boys went out to have some bachelor time.

Us girls sunbathed and had some girl talk! Ashley's best friend, Ashley, was the jello shot girl and came out with a cooler full of jello shots and tossed them to us on our floaties!

I brought a special drink floaty because every good party should have one.

Ashley had some festive accessories on her drinks.

I'm not really sure how many jello shots we actually did, all I know is the cooler was gone before evening began.

Joe had a good time, but still had his responsibility belt on at all times.

We were visited by lots of wildlife on our trip. This little girl just loved us and came back often. We were also visited by a bear, but apparently it doesn't like high pitched squealing because it didn't get that close and never came back!

There were also some geese that hung out for quite some time.

Day two brought more people and more fun!

We had a great time and now know that we are not cut out for full time partying!!

Robyn and Little Bear Tied the Knot!!

2011-04-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

Last night was Robyn and Little Bear's wedding. It was so exciting!!! Since Joe wasn't able to come, Chris had two dates!
Robyn looked beautiful!!

The dashing groomsmen.

Beautiful bridesmaids.

We're so happy for them!

Nikki went into labor early last week, and since she was still recovering, she made a quick appearance with little Ryan!

The happy family.

We had a great time!! The food was incredible!

There was lots of dancing!!!

We were silly!

Congratulations Brian and Robyn!!!

Bikini Contest!!!

2010-05-07T20:29:00.000-07:00

Well I did it! I participated in the 14th Annual Pregnant Bikini Contest!!! I tried really hard not to be nervous as I was getting ready. I only had one "what was I thinking moment" and it was while I was going through my 3-year-old's drawers looking for body glitter!!
Although Abby is off visiting family, her husband, Shane, was awesome and came out to hang out with Joe and yell for me!

Joe said I looked hot, which pretty much made the whole day for me!

My photographer was having a little trouble with the camera, but he managed a few shots that weren't too bad.

I can't believe I actually shook my ass in front on all those people!

We got to take a break in between rounds to go hang out in the crowd. It was so exciting to see Nikki, Josh, Robyn, and Jeanelle! They missed my debut but I strutted around for them anyway, hehe!

Unfortunately I was one of the 34 contestants cut, but it was a great experience that I will always be able to say I did it! One last picture of me before we headed out of the hot bar! (It was seriously like 100 degrees in there!!)

Okay, now bring on the baby!!

My Swimsuit Debut

2010-05-04T17:56:00.000-07:00

Since I am boldly (totally freaking out) going to be part of the local Pregnant Bikini Contest, I decided I would have a little practice run. I think I might be ready...

Of course I couldn't get away with doing a swimsuit shoot and not include Joli.

Well, what do you think? Are you going to come support me?

Dirty Little Fishes!

2010-01-20T17:31:00.000-08:00

So we went to the aquarium today and there were a few tanks that I just had to stop and look a little more closely at. I mean, is it just me or should these particular fish be in an "adults only" section!?!?! I swear I've bought one of these before!!!
This one's a little fancier but I'm sure the same principle applies.

Such a dirty world we live in :)

Motivation

2009-09-19T17:17:00.000-07:00

I've spent the past two and a half years striving for the motivation I would need to get the body I desire. I've come closer to doing the things that I would need to do to gain that body but still not necessarily motivated. Today I found a picture that will henceforth be my motivation.

"I Gotta Brand New Tattoo"

2009-09-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

Joe had an appointment to get tattoo work this morning and surprised me by offering it to me!
I spent most of the session reminding myself that I gave birth to an 8lb. baby without any medication.

There's no pain here!

Joli thinks tattoo parlors are the best! Every one there thought she was the most adorable thing!

Two hours later my faerie was complete.

It's not too big but it's definitely not small. Joe also pointed out that there's plenty of room next to her for a little boy...hmmmm, interesting Joe!

Now I just have to keep reminding myself that it's not a sunburn.

Def Leppard and Poisen!!

2009-09-10T00:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight we totally rocked out in a flashback to the 80's. We all met up at Chris and Kacie's. Every one's costumes were awesome!!!

Of course I was the only girl but hey, I knew the songs and even brought the CD's! Kacie said that she would watch the girls so both Chris and I could go. Mikey and Lil' Bear came with us too!
When Lil' Bear came in Joli started crying but as soon as he told her who he was she gave him a big hug!

We met some other fans in the parking lot and had to get a picture.

There may have been some consumption prior to the event... and then once we were there also.

The guys all looked awesome, and there were plenty of girls there to back that.

Before too long one of the guys showed up with his girlfriend so I had another girl to rock with.

I can't wait til Halloween! I think I'm going to dress up the whole week!!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-06T01:03:00.000-07:00

Pretty much sums up the night! Joe and I went to see some AWESOME bands play tonight, and thanks to Chris and Kacie, it was just the two of us (love you guys!!). We had so much fun! We made a little stop at the margarita stand on our way in.
Once we were seated we just hung out and messed with the camera.

Then the first AMAZING band came on! Saving Abel was so incredible live! Some people didn't even realize they were going to be there as they were the "opening band", but they were one of the bands that we had come to see. Joe and I LOVED it!!

Then the next band started setting up for their show and we entertained ourselves again.

Another PHENOMENAL band! Papa Roach was also so amazing live and had a great set of old and new.

Joe and I both love Papa Roach. They totally rock!!

Since my bladder is incredibly tiny, I slipped off to go to the bathroom and then decided to stop at the beer stand on my way back. I just wanted one beer. Man they are starting to cost a lot!

Apparently the cashier pushed the wrong button so I hung out for a little bit while the manager was calling the bank to make sure they didn't really charge me that. Then they offered me a free beer for waiting. Whoooooo-hooooooo!!

Once I got back the next band came on, which also played an awesome set. You can't really read there name, but it was Hinder.

There was quite a bit of time between the third band and the last one, but we managed to stay busy.

At this point I'd had half a margarita and a HUGE beer. It's safe to say I was a wee bit drunk.

Joe took my camera away because he said I was being insane, but then he took more pictures of me. Hahahahahahahahahaha!!

Finally Nickelback made their appearance. Apparently some people had just come to see Nickelback as I heard some girls in the bathroom talking about how disappointed they were that there were three opening bands, um...hello!!!! That was the whole point. To go to a concert with four awesome bands!!! Well we certainly got our money's worth. And Nickelback so totally rocked!!!

It was a little harder to get good pictures in the dark but I did end up with one good video. The band was so much fun! The lead singer is hilarious!!! Then he got together with the lead singers of Hinder and Papa Roach and sang AC/DC's "Highway to Hell". It was so awesome!! The later in the night they sang Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places"!!

I pretty much screamed and danced through the entire show. In fact I knew how long to let my screams go based on whether or not I was starting to black out. But Joe agreed that I have quite the scream in me. When we first showed up there was a preppy couple sitting in front of us that kept giving me the dirtiest looks every time I screamed. I wanted to say "Oh I'm sorry, isn't this the ROCK CONCERT!!!!!".

Nickelback had some supremo pyrotechnics! There were a few times when I was sure the whole damn thing was going to burn down. It was awesome!!!

Okay, so I've been to some awesome concerts, but hands down, best concert ever!!!!

More Bad Faerie!

2009-08-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

Laume has all of her photos uploaded now and I found some awesome ones of me from bad faeries day!

I wasn't the only one with the red and black idea!

Such a Bad Faerie!!

2009-08-02T01:44:00.000-07:00

Nap Time

Another Bad Faerie

Today was FUN!!!

Hanging at Sam's

2009-05-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

William, Joli and I headed over to Sam's house yesterday as Joe was there and we wanted to see him! Here's the three brothers Sam, Joe and William!
Sam was trying to teach William to do back flips off the diving board but William is so tall he kept hitting his stomach!

Sam's a shorty (not really, but shorter than William) so he was able to pull off the spin.

Here's the group playing flip cup.

Since Joe was being responsible parent and driver I had the green light to drink. But there weren't really any drinks there that I like, so I decided to make my own. I named it the Lisa Island Ice Tea. It was 1/3 Absolut, 1/3 orange liqueur, 1/3 Malibu, some ice and a splash of ice tea to give it color. This picture didn't load right, but it very adequately describes how I felt once I finished it.

I was trying to take pictures of everyone from the diving board and William decided he wanted to use it. Joe is so funny, hahahaha!

The three brothers started to get creative and tried to make a tower.

The problem was always after one guy got on another guys shoulders. There was just too much weight for the next guy to make it up.

They tried several different combinations, and they were all the sober ones!!

Eventually they gave up and set off to find happiness elsewhere.

Somehow we all ended up in Sam's room watching the kids jump from the bed to the giant beanbag. Here's the brothers again.

It was awesome to hang out with everyone!

Bowling!

2009-05-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

I got to have a night out with friends tonight while Joli stayed home and played with our favorite neighbor. I was so excited!
Tonight was cosmic bowling and we were all so entertained by how our shoes lit up! I was also entertained by my white leggings but that wasn't a good picture.

Leanh showed up late and gimpy from her bum knee. She ended up bowling pretty well though. Nikki and I had some lucky points, but mostly we weren't very good.

Robyn was bowling very well but towards the end we all got a little goofy. Nice shot Robyn!

Leanh totally kicked butt in the last game and we were all so excited, especially her!

Here's the happy "kicked some butt" face!

Turns out that beer does NOT make you a better bowler.

We all had a great time and I was so excited to sit and relax without chasing a small child!

Punk Me Baby

2009-04-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

I got a new shirt today and it inspired me to dress somewhat punkish. So I put up the effort and did my face.
Here's my crazy punk outfit. Not too punk, but I felt good. I also got some extra friendly smiles at the restaurant tonight so yay me!

Good Night!

Bad, Bad Faerie

2009-04-18T18:30:00.000-07:00

My outfit for Bad Faerie day is mostly complete. Here is the front.
And here is the back. The tights and the wings are awesome additions!

I added another layer to the purple dress and now that outfit is starting to come together as well.

So far away!!

Wings

2009-04-18T10:50:00.000-07:00

While in L.A. we made a quick stop at the Halloween Store to look for wings for the Faerie Festival. I had a little model help me out to show them off. Here is a pair that I wasn't really sure if I would use, but they were fairly cheap for how nice they are.
Of course we had to get some front views.

These are the wings I found for my Bad Faerie outfit.

Aren't they beautiful!?

Here is one last set of wings to go with one of the dresses I bought. These are very sweet.

Joli was all about modeling.

After I ran out of wings Joli decided to go get hers to fly around the house.

Can't wait for the festival!!

New Faerie Clothes!!!

2009-04-16T01:23:00.000-07:00

We found the coolest stores in Mission Beach today!!! I have almost my whole outfit for Bad Faeries Day! Here is the top and bottom.
And here are the most amazing boots ever!!!! I tried the whole outfit on for Joe. He rrrreeeeaaallllyyyyy liked it!

I bought this dress at another store that I thought was an amazing base for one of the other days.

Here is a dress that Joe's mom brought down for me. It's very beautiful, I just have to figure out what to put under it as it is intirely see-through!

I'm so excited to have outfits!!!

Date Night

2009-04-08T11:26:00.000-07:00

Since Joe has been home Joli has been so excited that I've hardly had a moment alone with him. So last night our wonderful neighbor came over and played with Joli so Joe and I could go out to dinner. I dressed up...

We went to this nice little Italian restaurant just minutes from the beach, that is actually rooftop dining. So we sat and ate delicious food and watched the sunset. It was awesome! And also so nice to sit and talk!

Drinking and More!

2009-03-01T11:15:00.000-08:00

Jessica's brother Cody came into town today and since some of us had had a bad night we decided to drink a little. We were talking about tattoos cause Cody has a couple and Joli started talking about how her daddy has one and she wants one. So we gave her a couple "tattoos" with a pen. See her hands?
Here is Cody and his future wife, Desiree. They are not fans of pictures but they'd had a few drinks so I snuck in a couple.

Here I am after quite a few drinks. I was having "tea" after Joli went to sleep (yep captain and coke).

Then I tried to sit on the couch and smacked my ankle REALLY hard on the coffee table and now it's sooooooo bruised.

Here I am putting "Pooh Ice" on my ankle.

Then I decided that I was bummed that I hadn't been to yoga this week, so I did some.

On a good note, I threw up all the alcohol that was in my system so this morning I felt fine!!! It was a good night!

Anti-Valentine's Party!

2009-02-15T22:03:00.000-08:00

The girls and I thought it would be a great idea to spend a night out on the town rather than stay home and be sad that our hunnies are gone. So we all met at Robyn's to drink and little wine and prepare to boogy!
I had about four glasses of wine before we left, which meant I didn't have to buy any drinks at the club, but I did have to spend the cab ride there being coached on how to "look sober" when I show my i.d. to the bouncer. Yep, cheap date.

Yeah, these are the most flattering of the pictures from before we left. Apparently I was slightly obsessed with laying on the floor and trying to put my knees behind my head.

Here's Robyn and Nikki at the club. On the way there Nikki took care of me and on the way home I was taking care of her!

It was a good night out! We all ready for our men to be home though.

Dirty Night

2009-02-07T23:46:00.000-08:00

I bought a new shirt today. Here I am showing it off after a few glasses of wine. Doesn't it look sexy?!
Here was one of the first items I considered buying at the passion party.

I had to test out the products. You don't want to buy something unless you know it's good!

Here's another awesome looking toy. It was pretty cool one too!

Here are my final purchases. Scary looking but soon to be very fun!

Passion parties are very fun! We should do them all the time!

Margarita Night!

2009-02-01T10:27:00.000-08:00

Joli and I had the girls over for some nachos and margarita's last night. Joli got all dresses and I made her and Kacie virgin margarita's.

Leanh didn't want me taking pictures of her, oops too bad!
Tessa, Penny, Leanh, and Nikki the eskimo!

I had three margarita's. They were yummy!

Look at my new wine glasses! They made for good margarita's too!

Penny was trying to save Tessa from the camera, got them both!

It was a fun night with the girls. Penny brought her 8-year-old daughter over and she and Joli watched movies and ate ice cream in my bed. We all enjoyed it!

Mommy Went Out!!

2009-01-18T07:50:00.000-08:00

Since my is in town I finally got to go out with the girls and it was so much fun!! Here we are getting ready and Robyn's house!
Doesn't Leanh look sexy!?!

Here we all are in the elevator to the roof of the Hard Rock Hotel. Nikki got us in VIP, it was awesome!

From the left this is Penny, Me, Janelle, Leanh, and Natalie.

I can't for the life of me remember Nikki's friend's name on the left but that's Nikki, Robyn and Penny.

Here I am drinking some lovely Victoria's Secret from Janelle's breasts!

This is once everyone finally caught up with me drinking and we were dancing downstairs. I only had one drink when we got there and for any that knows me, that was enough.

Robyn was awesome! I don't think I've ever actually seen her drunk before, it was great, and she was great for letting us all sleep at her house afterwards!

Here I am back at Robyn's house. I don't know where I got the Santa hat. Not many things make since at this point.

Going out with the girls was fun, now I need to sleep some more!

More Cussing in The Fam

2008-12-02T22:22:00.000-08:00

We've had a wonderful evening hanging out and enjoying the kids, and the then we started watching NCIS. The beginning of the show has someone die and Joli immediately started in about the monsters. Jessica and I were not really paying too close attention to what she was saying until a certain word caught our attention. Yes, it was the F-bomb. So we began listening closer and this is what we heard.

"F**k the monsters, oi, oi, oi, dammit. Look the monsters, f**king monsters. Holy crap. Look, baby monsters, freaking baby monsters."

So this is generally what she continued to talk about for the next ten to fifteen minutes, and Jessica and I are hysterically laughing and trying not the let her know that she is what we're laughing about. She continued going on about the monsters, and no matter what we told her, she could not be convinced that there were no monsters. Those freaking monsters.

Vampires Are So Hot!

2008-12-01T18:12:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I had the wonderful experience of being able to go see a movie!! This is very exciting since it was the first time I had seen a movie in nineteen months!! The main reason I was finally did this was because of the particular movie I wanted to see, and since my mom was going to be in town I thought I would take advantage and go see Twilight!

I really did like the movie. All the special effects were awesome, and I feel, for the most part, they did a good job of capturing what the book was about. I even went out right after the movie and bought the soundtrack! But I still can't get over the books. The books are beyond amazing! I don't know if it's just because I can identify with the characters or if it's just that I love the idea so much. For anyone that hasn't read the series, block out and weekend and do it, you won't be sorry.

The books that I'm reading right now are the Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris.

I started reading these books because to the tv show Trueblood. It's another amazing story about a human falling in love with a vampire. Which leads me to the point, which is, vampires are hot! I don't know how I'd feel about being bit by one, especially since in the case of Twilight that would mean becoming a vampire. But I'm definitely into the idea of loving someone so deeply and desperately for all of time.

My husband has not read the books and is very confused by all my questions about whether or not he would stay with me forever if we could never die, or what if we could have sex constantly without stopping. I think they're legitimate questions. In any case, read the books, all of them. If you don't fall in love with someone or some idea there's something wrong with you.

Not an Alcoholic!

2008-11-07T22:49:00.000-08:00

But I did clean out my fridge!
I finally got around to cleaning out my fridge, and getting rid of all the wonderful gifts the guys left before they deployed. I saved a few for cooking, but these are the ones that I won't drink and will be bad before the boys return! Yay for a clean fridge!

Sexy Mommy!

2008-11-02T00:41:00.000-07:00

I think it's pretty obvious that my daughter isn't exactly sheltered from all the "evils" in the world. Well I guess this would depend on your definition of good vs. evil.

Joli loves Halloween and all the spookiness that goes with it. We spent most of the week watching things like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and the "Thriller" video, both of which she thought it was fun to dance to and has been practicing her zombie growl. We took her to a haunted house last night and she wanted to see more monsters and talked about the Daddy skeleton and the baby skeleton. When things jumped out at us she laughed at grammi when she screamed. Now I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that neither Grammi nor I have acting like it's anything to be scared of. We've tried to show her that this kind of thing is a fun thing to do at Halloween and that it's not real.

Another thing that I have not tried to incredibly hard to shelter her from is music. I just kind of figure it's out there and on the radio and she's going to hear it, so why freak out about it. Now if it's something that is very heavy into cursing I'm more likely to change it, but otherwise I usually don't worry about it. I believe that my relaxed attitude is probably the reason why Joli sings "I kissed a girl, taste cherry chapstick" every time we put on chapstick. I was telling Laume about this and she went and looked up the Official Katy Perry Video on YouTube. While we were watching it Joli was dancing around on the bed and then she stopped and looked at the video and said "Mommy". We asked where and she pointed at Katy Perry!! Now I have to say my daughter is one smart little girl! I think she deserves a piece of candy! Yay me!

Happy Naughty Birthday to Me!!!

2008-10-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

Kacie and the girls were so wonderful and surprised me with a birthday dinner! I was totally shocked! I thought it was going to be just one of our girl's nights and when I walked in there were balloons, candles, presents and wine! There was also this awesome cake, ordinary at first but a few candles made it over the top!

Here is the birthday girl glass that I got to use. It was a loner, but still made me feel special.

This is one of my most entertaining presents! I also got a few cards and a gift card for Victoria's Secret! Whooooohoooo!!

Here is from the left, Karen, Nicki, and Robin. We were all being entertained talking about the Twilight Series that most of us have read.
Here I am after I think three glasses of wine. I was a little loopy.
Kacie decided it would be easier to take the picture for me. She was right.

Here are my "booby" balloons. They are a little lopsided, but entertaining none the less.
And of course here I am at the end of the night being escorted home! The girls even thought ahead so that I could drink by deciding the Kacie would drive me home and they would follow and bring her back home. Aren't they great!

Offensive?

2008-09-24T00:47:00.001-07:00

Early on in my pregnancy my husband and I agreed that it was completely unreasonable to expect our child not hear curse words. My husband is surrounded by severe cursing on a daily basis and often brings that home with him. It is also in the music he listens to and the people we hang around with. So we agreed that when Joli got to the age that she could say those words we would begin teaching her that it is inappropriate for children to use them.

Well that time has come a lot sooner than we expected and as Joli is not even two-years-old yet, we completely understand that she is just to young to be taught the concept of appropriate language. So we have chosen to say nothing in hopes that if she does not get a response from us, she will not continue to use the language. This response seems to backfiring. When Joli uses these words she does not use them and look at us for a reaction or even notice whether or not we have heard her or not.

Example #1:

A few weeks ago Joli and I got up early to take Joe to work. Since I was driving and we are not usually driving during a time when there is traffic I was frustrated. A few minutes after moving down the freeway at a snail's pace a motorcycle comes whizzing through the cars and continues on its merry way. So I said "Here we are barely moving, and there goes a fucking bike." Joli pipes up in the bike seat and says "Fucking bike!", but not in a way that said "look what I just said", she said it in a way that said "Oh I'm so excited, look mommy! A fucking bike!" My husband in seating in the passenger seat trying not to let Joli see that he is about to wet his pants, all the while trying to figure out who on earth he can call at 7:30 in the morning to tell the story to.

We didn't hear too much more curse words for a while after that. That's not to say that there weren't a few words that Joli simply mispronounced that made us stop for a moment. In fact she has a list of words that we usually have to do a double take on. One small example of that is the word "soap". This is the first time I have ever heard a child take such a simple, innocent, and clean word and turn it into "fock".

So we went several weeks without any other kind of incidents until a few days after Joe left. Then I walked out onto the porch to hear Joli repeating "shit, shit". Apparently the small clothes dryer had fallen over and she was in the process of figuring out how to pick it up. Yep, that's my daughter.

Another day or so went by and Joli and I went out shopping with my friend Kacie. While we were out I decided that since we hadn't really had much breakfast we should supplement with a Jamba Juice. Joli took the initial first sips and some of dripped out onto her blanky. Kacie said "Oh no her blanky", and Joli simply looked down, pointed at the drops and said "Oh dammit." Completely matter of fact as though she uses the word on a regular basis and it is not in any way unusual that she said it!

So now I am at point where I have to figure out if I should respond and risk having her turn it into this fun thing that gets a reaction out of mommy, or should I just let it go and hope that she grows out of it. Watch out playdates, here we come!

Life's Bitch

2008-09-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

When did I get to the point in my life that I was no longer myself, no longer important, no longer anything but the secretary/caregiver of this particular household? I have no influence on society, I contribute nothing, and do nothing of any importance. If I am not right in the middle of doing laundry, changing a diaper, or washing dishes than I am therefore a lazy piece of shit that does nothing!

How did this happen? Was it the moment that I stopped working and began caring for my child and running my household? Is it because I don't bring any money into the household? Maybe it is because no one would notice if I suddenly up and died until my husband needed a ride home. I can just picture Joli screaming and throwing the ultimate of all tantrums because I won't get up from my expired state and give her her binky. Is that all it would take? A chauffeur and a nanny and I would no longer exist? I guess there would have to be a few more people involved. A maid, a cook, a dog trainer, a laundry service, a maintenence service, a gardening service, a diaper service, a personal shopper, a seamstress, an accountant, a secretary, a plumber, a carwash, a decorating service, and a hooker. That about covers it. Unless of course the maid doesn't do dishes or clean litter boxes. Yep, I'm completely replacable.

Of course, since I don't work or bring in any money, it's completely unimaginable that I wouldn't be doing at least one of these tasks at any given moment. Right now I'm being put on the list of most horrible people ever, simply because I'm sitting down and writing something about myself. Not to say that it is anyone person's fault. It is simply where we are at in society. All these women spent decades trying to be "equal" to men, so we now not only have to be resposible for all of the above mentioned tasks we must also get a job to "contribute". I'm totally happy for us women that we have so many equal opportunities, but what about those of us that want to stay home and raise our own children? What if we don't think that working a full time job and then coming home to be a full time wife and mother is such a great thing?

I guess it doesn't matter. It's the same arguement that I've heard every other stay at home mom try to make. File this away with all the other letters from unappriciated, overworked women that are trying to make themselves feel like they're worth something even though they do nothing.

No Blow

2008-09-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

So I'm branching out and trying more wines. I figure while Joe's gone I'm going to need it. Today I bought a brand solely for it's name, and I now know never to make that mistake again. Let me tell you first hand, it blows!

Stick It

2008-08-27T17:04:00.001-07:00

Since my MIL is in town, I thought she would really enjoy going to a New Age store I found a few weeks ago called Lady of the Lake. There are a ton of Faerie figurines, gargoyles, dragons, incense, and the list goes on. Just as I thought, Laume really enjoyed it and we spent quite a bit of time there.

This is one of the figurines that I really enjoyed. I thought it to be very symbolic of my husband and I.

While wandering the New Age store, we came across a display of bumper stickers and since I don't actually like them on my car, I decided to take pictures and share the ones I like. This particular bumper sticker is part of the reason I decided to start a blog in which my dad (the preacher) wouldn't be reading.

Hey, it could happen!
If they had a conscience.

Because I do.

I firmly support this one. Nothing makes me completely forget whatever state of mind I'm in better than a good song!

I watch Law and Order all the time, but I do agree with this. It's seems a little strange to me that the law often gets in the way of those trying to create order.

Remember this in November!
I'm a little stumped by this. It totally makes since! Which is weird.
Hello! I want to give this one to the WIC lady who told me that I don't qualify anymore but I could if I got pregnant again. I'm sorry, THAT'S NOT A GOOD REASON TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD!!!
Guilty.
I know a lot of them, it's scary.

I'm totally putting this in Joli's room. Who says God didn't create the faeries too? According to Wikipedia, "Paganism encompasses the faith traditions outside the Abrahamic monotheistic group of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam". Oh well, I can still believe in faeries!

The Alter Me

2008-08-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

I started Creative Slave last year in hopes of having a place that I could put up things that are going on in my life for my family and friends to see. My husband is in the Military so we don't live near any of them, and this seemed to be the best way to keep everyone updated without flooding their inboxes with pictures and email. However, I have recently began to realize that that blog is very much the G version of who I am. There is also a small yet significant part of me that would not be welcome in the Stepford community, and although many of my friends are aware of it, much of my family is not. So I will call my alter ego Eglantina, which means "Wild Rose" in the language of Fae. If at anytime you are feeling uncomfortable with the posts you are reading head for the exit.